All healthy relationships are based on respecting other’s rights. When we respect each other’s rights, we are recognizing our boundaries. Boundaries are guidelines that define what we feel are permissible ways for other people to treat us. Most of the time we don’t acknowledge or think about it, but these boundaries operate beneath the surface of our relationships – even how much physical space we keep between us, when it is appropriate to touch someone, when and what favors to ask someone, what kind of information to share with another, etc. Some of these things are embedded in our family and cultural background, explaining the importance of understanding expectations when we deal with people from backgrounds different from ours. But even when we are dealing with shared expectations, problems can arise.

We’re imperfect beings. It’s hard enough to forgive someone else when they hurt you, but how are you doing with forgiving yourself? Many of us are terrible at letting go of all our self hatred. We replay our regrets so often they become constant reminders of our perceived failures. We become our own worst enemy by dragging ourselves down in a cycle of self-criticism. It’s defeating; it’s unhealthy; it leads to relapse.

An addictive personality is a set of personality traits that make an individual more prone to develop addictions to drugs, alcohol or other habit-forming behaviors. Know someone who might have one?

Here are a couple of red flags to look for…

I was told when I got home, I went right upstairs into my bedroom. A few minutes later, my mom and grandmother heard a loud thump. When they came to check on me, I can only assume they weren’t expecting to find what they found. After all, I was supposed to be their golden child. I was hiding my addiction so well – or so I thought. What they found wasn’t their golden child who was known for making everyone laugh and being fiercely protective of his siblings.